All is The Self
that is why one says One Self
no need to say anything actually
No one here but u
It’s same as dream
And the awakening is in knowing this
no more dreaming – no more waking – no more sleeping
just What Is … pure knowing
4: Ok so I’m good a lucid dreaming, I gave it up I found it annoying. But this doesn’t feel like that
This identification is strong
It’s so hard to see
iR: this is the real lucid dreaming
that is why I call it Awake
who is awake?
who was dreaming?
iR: there is no everyone
this is the dream
there is no me either
it only happens during dreaming
not in reality
therefore, to see what ACTUALLY appears
not what it APPEARS to be
this process may be termed as meditation or yoga
4: The thoughts carry with them the feeling of identity
My awareness has been trained to prioritize thought over all other senses
So who is it that wants to stop thinking
I am just happening and retroactively taking credit for it. It’s a beautiful illusion
These thoughts carry with them such authority
I don’t know how to call off the search
I look for “I” I see it but then I’m not that anymore now I’m observing that me. The thief runs up to another floor.
Then I get frustrated so just try not to think about it anymore but try to remain present
There seems to be an i
All of my friends R
The people are real but
They live in my head to
There’s the person then my perception of them
Which is what I’m really engaging
I understand this and even sometimes I know it but o ly for a second before that knowing is subsumed by the mind then it is no longer fresh it’s a mind object of it.. an echo (edited)
iR: what did u mean “people are real but … “
4: if you urself are illusory, how can people be real?
Well I assume u guys are real
iR: a) why?
4: But I am aware I have mental projections of u
iR: b) what is real?
so what is real?
4: Right you could all be fake
iR: what is real?
what is fake?
if we are all “fake” then what is “real”?
what is outside the matrix?
what is outside the dream?
4: Obviously I’m the main character and you guys are here for my development.
4: This whole world is here for me
iR: that is the illusion
that “me” does not exist
iR: the whole thing is a happening
4: this is why it is always a direct thing
4: I’m fine with this
iR: I am here
it is the simplest thing
the “I” u search for is not there
now what will u do?
and who will do it?
<this silence is not empty>
there is no one here
whether the wind blows, or a dream begins
who is there?
who is the doer? or the dreamer?
this knowledge is knowledge only within the field of knowledge?
which is called consciousness?
I can’t answer
the answer is knowledge
and knowledge is the problem
this knowledge of the self … of the “I”
is it not false?
what use is knowledge of myself?
I already AM
4: what is the difference between a real person and a fake person?
Subjectively the “real person” is the one that exist to my senses. The fake one is my projection where they live in my head
iR: what is the difference between knowing it is a dream vs knowing it is waking
4: I just know
But what isn’t in my head?
Subjectively this is allllll in my head
I assume subjective
There is no inside
everything is “inside the mind”
and mind is not real
there is no mind
therefore inside/outside collapses already
4: What do u mean there is no mind
iR: what is called mind is “inside”
4: Mind is just apart of the happening?
iR:is it not?
like a dream
4: So I have no sense of agency
I’m a DVD
iR: there is no “U”
This is the record needle hitting the record
I’m that contact
in the “moment”
anything is already past
4: I don’t know how to not look from mind
I’m practicing body awareness
iR: all looking is mind
body is in the mind
4: But knowing the body is a different type of knowing
iR: If u insist
4: It persist despite and beneath thought activity
That’s how I percieve it
iR: all perception is same
content is different
4: Get outta town
iR its actual
the perception of mango is different to different ppl
but the process of perception is same
and likes/dislikes is based on past/memory
Yes I’m the whole thing
there are no two things
that is non-duality
4: Yes but the mind
iR: what is “mind”?
it is something a term u use
what does it mean to u
4: This pesky re occuring
iR: that is called dreaming
or “day dreaming”
4: There is this pattern of thinking I’m a me
It’s a way of looking at the world
iR: it is the nature of the process
of the “I”
the one who sees
let the seer be
u are not the seer
u are the knower
u know the seer
u know the seeing
and u know the seen
o: and when you see the knowing?
iR: if there is nothing to see … then also you are
u can see it
what is there
knowing is itself false
therefore true knowing is this knowing that all is false
except for the reality of what IS
4: I think I just want my mind to shut up
iR: no knowledge
iR: just be
only mind is loop
mind = knowledge
let mind go
no more knowing
the last knowledge
the final knowledge
4: That just creates a me thats trying to let go
A me thats trying to relax
A me thats trying to be
meditation is what?
I describe it as the space between thoughts …
4: That’s all I want
iR: how do u know there is a space between thoughts?
4: I’ve been it
iR: so be it now
is it not always?
does it disappear?
or is it the container?!
it is all there is … the space
it appears as this and that
waves in the ocean
but all is ocean only
ocean = large water
waves = water
are there waves?!
4: All I have are my photographs from my time there. The mind won’t stop looking at them. Comparing
iR: who knows this?
is that what ur looking for?
iR: it is always here
it is the basis
else u can not perceive the movement
it is the background
all is me
or I am nothing
both are OK for mind to subside
4: Like an engine winding down
its a movement
4: I feel spacious
iR: of consciousness
you are space
the mind space
4: My mind chatter is less but
I guess that’s just what’s happening
Sometimes I feel that all I am is resistance
I don’t know how to relax
When I sit still
I am never still
O: what gets in the way of being still?
O: hahahahaha, no, not rhetorical
i mean actually, what gets in the way of being still?
iR: that was a good answer
4: I meant that tho lol
iR: now all u have to do is not
4: I have hmmm
I’m always scanning
My mind is always going
I am resistance
I mean it’s something to do
I’m not beholden
o: if that’s the case, can I suggest you take some time and do nothing?
pick a day, sit down on a couch and just do nothing for a while
4: Lol so this why I think I’m resistance
I just fall asleep
o: get well rested then
if you fall asleep that’s fine
but when you wake up, continue to do nothing
4: That sounds horrid
I’d feel like I’m gonna explode
I literally don’t have the attention span for that
I’ll try but I’ll just come to downstairs
As soon as I stop paying attention
And be some where else
I want to learn how to just be
I really don’t know how to relax
4: It helped a lot
Like a knife
I had nothing
Lots to consider
I’m a very mental being so the exchange was felt
I understand to look where the signs are pointing
I like to relate it back to the bit from the Taoteching: “In the pursuit of learning, every day something is acquired.
In the pursuit of Tao, every day something is dropped.”
4: Not to get caught up in the pondering of the sign
The way my mind works I understand
How does one do that in modern Life
iR: what’s the difference between Be and Becoming
Nothing I mean could be the same thing
It’s not a static image
But becoming is like a transition
But everything is always doing that
knowing is becoming
being is remaining
I am speaking to the real You
remain as yourself – mind is the becoming factor
you are the Being factor
There is nothing more to be done to “be”
any doing is mind
and is “becoming”
see that u are not the doer
mere witnessing of the play of consciousness
o: you don’t find your center of gravity by looking for it, you just feel into it … and ride the bike
4: This is why I said my mind is in the way it always tries to do it
If I sit still
Then the mind tried to sit still
It’s not the same
So now “I’m sitting still”
iR: this is so funny
4: It really is
iR: we already said u are not the dream character
4: He’s still there and he feels real
iR: but that is false knowledge
do u not trust that this is a dream?
or do u believe this is not a dream
4: Everyday a lil more of me does
But I’m not a solid thing
iR: that is all
time is inside the dream
4: There are many mes
iR: when will u wake up
That time is not real
Who will wake up?
That is also not real
so now what
4: I feel all I can do is watch it happen
There’s nothing for me to do no me to do it
Just a me that insist it is
iR: that watching is called witnessing if done without a doer
else is it “watching”
u can’t stop witnessing
u can stop watching
4: It’s like… I grew up in this room with a mirrored wall. And my whole life I’ve been convinced that the mirrored me is the one that controls everything that I am the mirror me
Everything is opposite
what appears is not real
4: Now I’m trying to unsee that but it’s hard cause he’s still over there doing what I’m doing
iR: What does not appear is real
“Real” only being used to explain
4: Yes nothing would change truly in the realization
I’ve always been me
But really every thing changes
iR: what changes is not you
4: I’m still trying to know this vicerally
iR: viscerally is an experience
this has no experience of any kind
nothing at all
4: That always feels like it’s outside me
iR: Because u consider experience as you
iR: experience needs an experienceR
otherwise what is there
4: He’s doing a great job mirroring me so I know what’s going on
iR: there is no “me” being mirrored
Don’t come up with more ideas
u are not a person
4: Then who are u talking to
iR: And not consciousness
I am in ur consciousness
U are talking to urself
4: Haha I am
iR: This you can verify
iR: examine urself
what else is there apart from your mind?
iR: so where is the question of “mind” … is it not just You?
4: Is the only problem my dislike for this experience
iR: Isn’t it?
To be continued…